Cape Fear Community and Support Group for Widows
Our Mission for Widows
We serve to empower widows to lean into life, build resilience and make a positive difference in society.
Modern Widows Club is designed to create a safe and private environment for widows to lean into life together through the journey.
We are the club no one wants to be in because you only get in by virtue of experiencing a great loss. Yet what I hope you find once you’re here is that you’re surrounded by a community of really amazing women that you can lean on and learn from. We’re widows helping widows to live- to go upward and onward. Sometimes we cry and sometimes we laugh. We talk about how to tackle challenges without our partners’ help and cheer each other on. We often share food as we do this, because who doesn’t like to eat?
When a woman loses her loved one she tends to feel very alone. Regardless of her age or circumstances, she will benefit from other women in her life who understand the unique challenges she is now faced with. She needs women who will build her up and encourage her in this new life she walks. We are stronger together. No woman is an island. We need each other.
Meet Our Community Advocates
Megan is the mother of two adult children; Jaden, her daughter is attending ECU & her son, Bruce a SUNY Maritime grad and now new to the maritime industry. In April of 2010, Megan and her late husband Keith were given devastating news, Keith’s ALS diagnosis. During four bittersweet caregiving years Keith’s normal chipper personality radiated from him, he was an absolute pleasure to be around. Megan excelled in knowledge about Medicare, advocacy, therapies, drug trials and they both learned how to live a legacy. Sadly, Keith died in 2014 leaving the family devastated. Megan naively thought her anticipatory grief would make her more resilient in the first year of widowhood. Nothing could be further from the truth; you really can’t ever imagine… Three years later, Megan was encouraged by her therapist to “find her tribe”. Megan started following MWC years earlier on Facebook and thought “someday I will open a community…”. Finally, she attended a meeting in Atlanta in the summer of 2019 and in September was eager to start a new community for our area. As soon as the idea crossed her lips, she was introduced to her co-leader Kathy. The support and mission is exactly the group Megan wished she had six years ago, and is proud to lead today.
Professionally, Megan owns her own financial firm, specializing in comprehensive financial planning. Megan turns an overwhelming process into small tasks with much compassion, especially for a newly single person. Small tasks become small victories that are the steppingstones to living your best, now that you are on your own. Megan resides in downtown Wilmington and looks forward to greeting you, in support of one another.
Greetings, Wisters! Born and raised in Pennsylvania, I met my future husband, Randy, while working at AAA as a corporate travel agent, booking his weekly business travel. We did not connect romantically until a few years later when he called ‘out of the blue’ to ask for a date. His call came just weeks after attending a fair with a friend who insisted upon getting a tarot card reading, during which I was informed that I know the man with whom I would spend the rest of my life, but had never before considered. Call it black magic or destiny, that was the start of a 35-year love affair.
During those years, we chose not to start a family but instead put our focus on our careers and each other. Whether spending a quiet evening at home, a never-missed Friday date night, riding motorcycle or traveling, we were never happier than when spending time together. Life and jobs moved us to NJ, MD, on to SC and last to Wilmington, NC.
In early 2018 a persistent pain in Randy’s right chest ended in the eventual diagnosis of stage 4 Mesothelioma. While there is no cure, Randy elected for a highly specialized surgery in MD that held the promise of 5–7 precious additional productive years. After a 16-hour surgery and 5 weeks in the hospital, he was close to release from the hospital but needed a 30-minute surgery to implant a few valves in his right lung, which had not yet fully healed and sealed. During this surgery, an imbalance of pressure caused his heart to stop for 18 minutes. Once resuscitated, he never regained consciousness and two weeks later incredulously I said goodbye once care was removed.
Never once considering he would not return home to NC, I was devastated to find myself suddenly alone, away from family, but blessed with a few great friends to hold me together. Following grief counseling and muddling my way through the first 18 months of widowhood, I was blessed to join a grassroots widow’s group that soon became the Cape Fear community of MWC. Through Carolyn and Megan’s strong leadership, experience-sharing, and a wonderful collection of Wisters, I was able to put words to my emotions and feelings and saw that I COULD grow out of grief to find a new life ahead.
Taking an early retirement at the end of 2021 happened to correspond with the opening of our community’s co-advocate position. How could I possibly not seize the opportunity to give back to the organization that had given me so much hope and support, and to help other Wisters along their journey? I am so proud to be able to be a part of such an amazing organization