Purpose and Meaning for Widows

Signs From Your Deceased Spouse Are Closer Than You Think

by Kim Murray

Do you see “signs” from your deceased spouse?

There’s a lot of speculation about how (or even if) our deceased loved ones can communicate with us. The only way to know for sure is to believe it’s possible. If you don’t have the belief first, your brain won’t recognize signs that might be right in front of you. On the other hand, if you believe in signs, but don’t think you’re receiving any, keep an open mind. You might get signs in ways you weren’t expecting.

In her book What the Dead Have Taught Me About Living Well, author Rebecca Rosen, a spiritual medium, suggests asking outright for your loved one to send messages or signs.

“While our departed loved ones feel us and hear our thoughts and requests for help or guidance, they will not interfere until you invite them in. You must first ask for guidance, and then you must open yourself up to all possibilities. Guidance and signs from beyond show up in many different ways — through dreams, music, found objects, threads of conversation and even inspired thoughts… my advice is to be receptive to whatever shows up and trust that you’ll know it when you see it.”

If you’re open to believing and receiving signs, here are five ways your deceased spouse might try to get your attention.

They Come to You in Your Dreams

Dreams are symbols of what’s going on in your life. When you dream about your deceased spouse, it might be a calming, peaceful dream, or a confusing, combative dream. Either way, it might be a sign that your loved one is communicating with you by helping you create meaning out of your personal dream symbols.

For example, I had a dream where I was working on a shipping dock. I stepped onto the rainy, muddy loading area to retrieve a package and my boots got stuck in the mud. It frustrated me that I couldn’t move, no matter how hard I tried. After a while, a door opened, and my husband pulled me right out of the boots and back into the dry building (it never occurred to me I could step out of the boots to release myself). We didn’t exchange any words, but I received an obvious message. He’s still near me to help when I’m stuck. Now when I’m having a hard time with something, I simply ask for his help to get unstuck.

If you have dreams of your deceased spouse, stay open to the messages no matter how they’re delivered. A “bad” dream doesn’t indicate a “bad” message. It’s just the way you’re working out life in your subconscious. Keep connecting the dots of your dream symbols and you might end up with a clear message too.

They Might Manipulate Matter

Pay attention to flickering lights in your house or disruptions with TV, radio, or electrical appliances.

These could be signs that your deceased spouse is trying to get your attention. Spirits are masters of manipulating electricity and crossing electrical wires because spirits and electricity are both forms of highly charged energy.

The first night I introduced my new boyfriend (now husband) to my kids, we watched a movie together in our basement. We turned the lights off before the movie started and about halfway through, I asked my older son to stop messing with the dimmer switch because the lights kept flickering on and off.

“Mom, I’m not touching the lights,” he said. I looked over in the dark and there he was in his chair.

On two other occasions, specifically when I was arguing with my younger son, the light in my bedroom flickered on and off. I reassured my deceased husband we were OK and that he didn’t need to worry about us.

You Start Seeing Number Patterns

If you see repeating number patterns or unique number sequences (usually on clocks), this is a surefire sign that your deceased spouse or other angels are communicating with you.

Common number patterns are patterns of three, like 111, 222, 333 or 444. Each has its own meaning (read more here), but if you see repeated number patterns, pay attention to what is happening or what you’re thinking about when you see them.

For example, I see 1:11 or 11:11 on the clock all the time. At first, I thought it was coincidence, but it’s happened so many times it’s beyond coincidental. After much research, I found that 11:11 is a divine message to focus only on the thoughts and energy that you would like to take into your future. It’s crazy how many times I’ve doubted my ability to heal, be productive, or face a challenge, only to see 11:11 on the clock, receipts, or other random places. I’ve even been paying bills when I’ve seen a curious set of numbers that added up to 11:11!

I pay special attention to my thoughts now and when I see 11:11, I correct my thinking to a more positive outlook. And thank my deceased husband for helping me keep my doubts at bay.

Your Senses Are Amplified

If you see flashes of something out of the corner of your eye or the energy in the room shifts, your deceased spouse might be trying to get your attention. Your intuition is stronger than you think, so don’t discard the feeling or sense that your loved one is nearby.

When you smell something that reminds you of your deceased spouse, hear a faint voice or whisper, or the room suddenly gets cold, pay attention. These might not be the signs you are expecting, but they all indicate your loved one is near.

You Find Personal Items in Strange Places

My husband loved Twizzlers and the first few years after he died, my kids and I found Twizzlers everywhere. I found Twizzlers in coat pockets, suitcases, and desk drawers. While skeptics might tell me those Twizzlers were there before he died and in no way indicative of his presence, I believed my husband sent us signs he was doing okay.

If you find personal items of your deceased spouse like keys, glasses, or other keepsakes in strange places, take a moment to imagine that it’s a sign. Sure, it could be a random event and you could believe the item was there the whole time and you’re just now noticing it, but isn’t it more fun to believe your deceased spouse is communicating with you?

I choose to believe my husband sends me signs, even though some people argue that I’m just assigning my own meaning to completely random events.

The bottom line is you get to believe whatever you want to believe. If you feel your deceased spouse’s presence and believe he’s with you, he is. If you see number patterns and want to believe that your deceased spouse is sending you a sign, he is.

What do you choose to believe?


Kim Murray learned more than she ever wanted to know about grief and loss when her husband died from brain cancer in 2014. After figuring out how to live with her “new normal,” Kim created the website Widow 411 to help other widows overcome the overwhelm with topics like grief, finances, and relationships.

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Knowing there are women who have not only survived what I was going through, but were also thriving and moving forward in their lives.
— MSC Wister® (Widow + Sister)