Emotional & Mental Health for Widows

Resilience and Humility

Carolyn Moor

As promised, I am writing to you from ‘The Eternal City’ Rome, Italy.

A few years ago, I was blessed with a dear friendship with another widow, Martha, who happens to live part time in Orlando, FL and part time in Rome, Italy. Our friendship has grown over the last few years and I’ve seen her (and myself) blossom in so many ways culturally, personally and professionally that simply blow my mind.

When we first met, we discovered that our late husbands shared the same birthday Oct. 27th. One of those ‘really?’ kind of moments that I’m sure you are familiar with….signs from above! From that point on, we felt like there was a bigger reason why we found each other in this great big world of ours.

So, here I am visiting Martha, along with my daughter in Rome and let me tell you….I’m experiencing challenges and changes in every direction. I don’t speak Italian but I’ve seen Martha grow leaps and bounds. I’m so impressed with her resilience. It’s a beautiful thing to watch. There is nothing like traveling in another country that screams….

‘It’s a big world we live in…. Grow and Go with the Flow!’

So very humbling.

My humility meter has been turned on HIGH. 

Last week I talked about how strengthening our own resilience will bring many challenges and changes along the way. We all face these challenges and changes in widowhood in different ways and timelines. I’ve found having a community like MWC, and many others, that it makes the journey endurable and eventually integrated into the new resilient self that is emerging.

But challenges and changes also bring a deeper mode of connecting with life…it literally brings us to our knees when we don’t know what to do and must trust that everything will be alright regardless of knowing how exactly that will play out.

It could be in prayer or simply a thoughtful surrender to the universe. But the one thing it always brings along with it is humility.

Humility knocks at our door before grace steps forward and saves the day. We can resist or we can embrace this humility and grace-filled path. It’s a choice. But I’d advise leaning into it for your own sanity.

It often comes with big questions, tears and introspection. It creates the need for quiet and some alone time. And with humility comes new kinds of challenges and changes….these will lead you to equanimity, self confidence, faith, roots and all that you deeply desire.

The term “humility” comes from the Latin word humilitas, a noun that is translated also as “grounded” and “from the earth”, since it derives from the word humus (earth). Because humility addresses our individual self-worth, relationships, social interactions and perspective, it’s a virtue worth spending some time developing on a daily basis as we pursue our resilient life as extraordinary women.

This week I hope you simply recognize when humility is knocking at your door….be willing to open up and embrace the blessings it brings along with compassion, kindness, empathetic joy and a deeper understanding as you patiently become the new you.

The new you is something quite resilient in all its facets….this I know! This is what I am witness to all around me in MWC. Accept the gift that is you.

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Knowing there are women who have not only survived what I was going through, but were also thriving and moving forward in their lives.
— MSC Wister® (Widow + Sister)